Counting to 100 – it didn’t work. I’m still nazty

Posted on February 27, 2012 by admin

When you’re angry or bugged or annoyed – take a DEEP breath and count to one hundred. Except don’t hold your breath for one hundred counts! That’s ridikalusss. Also, if you don’t want to be a hypocrite, you should follow your own advice.

oh dang.

I’ll be back in 100 MILLION COUNTS because I might be 100 THOUSAND bugged right now. You see what I did there? It’s called #math. AAANNNNDDDD I can already tell this blog is going south of the border all the way to the Antarctica marathon that is about to go down and that I considered doing with my Australian friends for about 10 seconds before I remembered I don’t like to run, think this blog “Stuff White People Like #27 Marathons” is super funny and dated 3 of the people going. AWKWARD.

Do you see what I did THERE? I took it exactly where I said I would. hahahaha.

Dear complainers and haters and people who have nothing to do but spread negativity – you know YOU! the one telling ME I couldn’t POSSIBLY understand having hardship *because* I’m attractive and fun. Umm – excuse me? In what world is it appropriate to say something like that? Oh that’s right – silly me. I forgot that being attractive or CHOOSING to be fun is a free pass to a world of sunshine and rainbows and pet unicorns with secret love spell charms. HAHAHAHA! Silly me. How could I have forgotten THAT.

Ok but for reallllzzzz???? You and people like you ought to just shove a sock in it until you choke. OORRR just STFU. F meaning Flapdoodle, a word I just learned. yay! Learning is AHHHH! (wait for it) SOME!

AGH!!!! Kill me now!!

No wait – why me? Let’s kill the debiie downer freddy frowners of the world – that sounds like FUN! YAY! Happy Days! Hip Hip Hooray! aaannnddd Ok. so maybe I haven’t done that 100 Million counts yet.

Imma gun take a qwik shawr n brb.

I’m back. BBBUUUTTT I still feel like ninja-ing faces off, round house kicking kidneys and POW-ing knee caps so maybe that advice at the beginning was bogus. :-/ imagine that.

OH! actually
DO!
DO!

Please DO imagine me being a C-list action movie star!! I think that would be SO FUN!!! Ka-BOOM!

AAANNNYYYWAAAYYY I’ll just close by saying that I want to be a ninja SO BAD that I’m starting with words. Aaannnddd I WAS going to close by saying that if being single (*cough CRYBABY cough*) is TRULY the worst thing that ever happened to you? Consider yourself lucky. HOWEVER upon further contemplation I’ve realized that YOU suck and so being forever alone with YOU, YOURSELF and YOU might be worse than the she-ot that gave me PTSD so I guess you got what you deserve.

~K. Pete

Stress Kills: Radical Acceptance and Distraction

Posted on October 19, 2011 by admin

Anxiety. Stress. We feel it. We react. Sometimes we react well. YAY! Happy days!!! *smiley face emoticon*

But sometimes stress causes us to be overwhelmed with emotion. *frowny face emoticon*

We are overwhelmed by stress. We react poorly. Our emotions course through our veins, race through our minds, and/or sink into an uncomfortable pit in our stomachs and we, in a sense, lose control. Logic flies out the window. We shut-down. We bite back. We avoid. We cry. We act in spite: spiting ourselves, our loved ones, our feelings. Our emotions take over. We spiral.

In my last post, we discussed Common but Self-Defeating Coping Mechanisms for Stress and detailed the negative consequences to each mechanism. And let’s be honest – most of us have used more than one of those coping strategies on the list. That’s why I labeled them “common”.

Ok – so, sure – it’s great to acknowledge these reactions are self-defeating… and even better to acknowledge you use them. (or maybe vice versa) But so what? When you’re living in that moment you don’t care!! If you DID, you wouldn’t be acting that way. *duh*

So what can you do? How do we fight back if, in a way, we’ve already lost control?

Distraction.

You need to distract yourself so that you can snap out of it and come back to the situation/problem/stress with a refreshed and in-control mind. *Big SMILE!* Distraction skills help you temporarily stop thinking about your stress, they help you prevent your emotions from spiraling farther and they give you time to find an appropriate reaction for your stress. *Even BIGGER Smile*

Soooo…..Make the choice NOW, that you WILL choose to distract yourself the next time you find yourself in a self-defeating reaction to stress. YAY! Tell yourself NOW that no matter how convincing your irrational justifications for your behavior are, the next time you find yourself coping with stress in a self-defeating way, you WILL, even though you won’t want to, try a distracting technique. (which btw – will be covered more in the next post)

Have you done it yet? Have you made the choice?

No? ok – well… seriously…

Do it. *warrior face emoticon*

haha. Just teasing. But for REAL? Make the decision. NOW. Because if you don’t do it NOW – you probably will find yourself wishing you had.

(and I wonder why my boyfriend teases me about being bossy *slanted smile emoticon*)

****IMPORTANT NOTE: Please do not confuse distracting yourself with avoidance. Distracting yourself when your emotions are overwhelming? Good. Avoiding? BAD. The difference? “When you avoid a distressing situation you choose not to deal with it. But when you distract yourself from a distressing situation, you still intend to deal with it in the future, when your emotions have calmed down.”*****

Ok – so we understand the importance of and the “why should we?” for distraction… BUT

Before we use distracting skills we need Radical Acceptance

Distracting yourself will never work unless you learn “Radical Acceptance”. Radical Acceptance is accepting life for what it is – judgment free. If you can’t accept that life IS and cannot be controlled, you are probably a control freak. What? You probably are!

Let’s be real. Life cannot be controlled. Bad things happen. Stress happens. And wishing something didn’t happen is ultimately a waste of your time. When you are upset that something happened you miss the point that it DID happen and now you need to deal with it.

Let’s think about this for a second. Do you REALLY think that being upset and angry, or wishing something didn’t happen will change the outcome of something that has already happened? Or going back to our list of Common but Self-Defeating Coping Mechanisms for Stress - will ANY of these reactions CHANGE the outcome of what lead to your stress?

If you said “yes” – you are wrong. *Playful winky emoticon* Each of those coping mechanisms ultimately paralyze you. You cannot move forward and change the situation when you are busy engaging in self-defeating behaviors. You might not be able to prevent feeling angry, upset, critical and judgmental, but you can accept that dwelling on those feelings won’t help.

Feel it, acknowledge it, accept it, move forward.

Trying to fight a moment in time, that has already happened, only leads to poor reactions and more stress.

Now, of course, this doesn’t mean you have to condone or agree with bad behavior in other people. Accepting life for what it is only encourages you to not get angry about what has already happened and to not waste time trying to point the finger. Blame, anger and dwelling will never help! If a situation needs to be changed – change it!! but don’t dwell on who is to blame or get caught up in being disappointed in yourself for allowing the situation to happen.

Feel it, acknowledge it, accept it, move forward.

Back to Distraction

We’re going to talk more about Radical Acceptance in future blog posts but for now … let’s get back to Distraction as a coping mechanism for stress.

Developing distraction skills are more involved than I realized at first. It’s going to take more than one post to get through them. *sorry!!* BUT since I promised you some distracting ideas in THIS post, I’ve included pages 15-16 from “The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook” by McKay, Wood and Brantley for you (Click the link for a pdf). It’s called “The Big List of Pleasurable Activities” and they claim it contains a list of over 100 ideas of things to do. But I think listing “exercise” and then 14 different ways to exercise shouldn’t be counted as 15 things to do so I edited the list, added a few of my own ideas and included my amended version at the bottom of this post. Please consider doing one of these things when you start feeling yourself reacting poorly or not caring that you are upset. YAY!!!!

(YAY that there is a list – NOT yay that you are reacting poorly)

But WAIT! There really is more!

If looking at the list makes you think “This will never work” – bear with me ok? *hopeful smiley emoticon* I realize this is just a LONG list of things to do. But the fact is, doing ANYTHING to change the pace a little should help you refocus and refresh your mind. YAY!

PLUS – we haven’t gotten to the distraction SKILLS yet! That will be next time. My next blog will cover in-depth ideas for distracting your thoughts and I’ll also go over the book’s suggestions for relaxing and fighting anxiety.

So …

to be continued!

_________________________________________________

“The Big List of Pleasurable Activities” or as I like to call it, the “Things to do when you can’t think of anything else to do list” (edited by me)

Talk to a friend

Call
Text
IM
Skype
In person

Meet up somewhere
Invite your friend over
Go to your friend’s

Organize a party
Exercise

Lift weights
Do yoga, tai chi, or Pilates, or take classes to learn
Stretch
Jog
Swim

Go outside

Take a walk, somewhere peaceful
Watch the clouds
Hike
Ride a bike
Go to a local playground and play
Any outdoor sports
Play with your pet or borrow a pet
Bird watch
People watch
Sit outside – it doesn’t really matter what you do – just go outside!!

Play a game (by yourself or with someone)

Solitaire
Basketball
Mini Golf
Bowling
Billiards
Video Games
Flag football
Any game

Download new apps for your phone
Subscribe to a word of the day email and read them
Get a massage
Go for a drive
Ride public transportation
Plan a vacation
Take a nap
Eat (Hmm… I’m going to add PLEASE be careful you’re not eating emotionally)

Try a new healthy snack
Cook your favorite meal
Bake your favorite treat
Surprise someone with a treat
Have a dinner party
Have friends over to help you prepare a meal
Cook or bake something new
Teach/mentor someone younger to cook to bake
Take a cooking class
Go get your favorite non-alcoholic beverage
Make a fruit salad bouquet (the decorative type)
Invent a new smoothie combination
Make hamburger cupcakes
Watch a cooking show – make one of the recipes

Play with a pet or borrow a pet

Give the pet a bath
Teach a dog a new trick

Find something FUNNY

Watch a movie
Youtube
Comics
Blogs
TV
Websites
lolcats.com

Go to a movie
Watch your favorite TV show
Listen to the radio
Go to a sporting event
Google Inspirational Quotes
Start a blog or website
Sell something online
Do a puzzle
Run errands you’ve been meaning to do
Get a haircut
Go to a spa
Do a face mask
Look up local community events and go to one
Volunteer for a non-profit group or political campaign
Go to a library
Go to a bookstore and read
Visit a museum or art gallery
Go to a ballet or opera
Go to a play/broadway
Get dolled up
DANCE
Pray
Meditate
Go to a church
Write a letter to a Higher Power
Call a family member
Mentor/call/plan a play date with a niece, nephew or younger cousin
Learn a new language
Sing or learn how to
Play a musical instrument (or learn)
Write a song
Memorize lines from a favorite movie, book, play or song
Make a movie/video
Take photos
Edit photos
Write a speech
Participate in a local theater group
Sing in a choir
Join a club
Plant a garden
Knit, crochet, sew – or learn to
Make a scrapbook
Join pinterest
Paint your nails
Color your hair
Take a bubble bath or shower
Work on a car
Housework
Take a community education class
Read
Buy a magazine
Write a letter to a friend or family member
Make a list of things you like about yourself
Draw or write things you like about body
Write a poem, story, movie etc.
Write in a journal
Write a love letter
Write a loving letter to yourself to save for your next bad day
Make a list of things you are good at
Draw
Paint
Snuggle with someone you care about
Make a list of people you admire or want to be like – fictional, historical or someone you know. Describe what you like about them.
Write a biography or about crazy events in your life
Make a bucket list
Write a letter to someone who has enriched your life and explain why (you don’t need to send the letter)
Mail holiday cards to those you care about for random holidays
Create your own list of ‘pleasurable activities’
Make a 101 in 1001 list
Take a personality quiz

I started teaching a church primary group – say what????

Posted on August 25, 2011 by admin

To my seven readers, 3 of you already knew that I have been teaching for a few weeks now so this post comes as no shock to you – but to the rest of you? I’m TEACHING church stuff!! Did your jaw drop to the floor? HAHA! Don’t worry – it’s not like THAT. Not like the “praise the Lord – good great sweet baby Jesus” type of church teaching – not that there would be anything wrong with that – but we all know that just isn’t me. (btw – did any of you watch that Nascar prayer? HAHAHAHAHAHA! I know I shouldn’t laugh but HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Was he SERIOUS?? ”We thank you for the dodges and the fords… In Jesus name, bugguty bugguty” HAHAHA! Watch it here)

No – nothing like that. I’m just teaching a little “do service and be kind” type of stuff (which happens to be stuff I believe) to a class of 6-7 year olds and I’m only doing it because the leader in the church group I attend asked me to and much to my dismay I said yes.

Right. Much to my dismay, I said yes.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TEACHING IN CHURCH MEANS??? It means I have to actually ATTEND church EVERY WEEK. Pretty clever of that bishop if you ask me. ;) My attendance in church has been NON-EXISTENT for TEN YEARS! Which probably makes you want to ask, “Why in the world did a bishop of a church group ask you to teach a class of 6-7 year olds if you’ve been agnostic for most of the last ten years?” Well… that’s a good question. But since you didn’t raise your hand … just kidding. I’m not very good at enforcing the kids to raise their hands in class either. But that’s because they’re TERRIFIED of me. HAHAHAHA! Just kidding again. Man I’m a riot tonight! No but for REAL??

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

OOORRRRR maybe I’ve been studying a lot about why religion can be good over the past year so I’m not such a terrible choice. It was probably time I looked a little more closely at the “cup half full” side of it. I HAVE spent countless years studying about how horrid organized religion is – and although I retain my opinions on the dangers of organized religion – I believe my current church participation doesn’t encroach on these firmly held beliefs about religions in general. And I think being a responsible church goer means being aware of the good AND the bad of a religion. But that’s not a blog topic for today – or for any other day because it’s SO LONG AND EXTRA EXTRA BORING!!!

But yeah … the short of it is that he had his reasons for asking and I had my own for saying yes. And I think I am going to enjoy this new adventure: teaching little, incredibly bossy, CANNOT SIT STILL, or listen to a word I’m saying, kids about being kind.

Reframing – and my dog is a drug addict.

Posted on June 30, 2011 by admin

ok so look – I know I said the next blog was going to be about the value trifecta but I changed my mind. :) If I waited until that blog was ready – I wouldn’t blog for a LONG time. And then I just read Vanessa’s blog about Dog Soup, and yes it was made with REAL DOGS siiiiiick (but for realz – go read it!!! I laughed OUT LOUD) and I remembered that I once said I would NEVER eat cow tongue – NEVER EVER EVER!!!!

But then HE happened:

And I DID eat it because you see that guy above? I fell in love with him. And he lived in Honduras for a few years and he said, “Trust me – it’s good.” So I did.

And I liked it.

siiiiiick

But I really did like it – which is still siiiiiick but when cooked correctly – very succulent! ;) But ANYWAY life is unpredictable and you never know when you might change your perspective – so…. what I really want to talk about today is CHANGE. :)

Reframing – a necessary tool

Reframing has been one of, if not THE biggest factor in my ability to accept, change and move forward. It allows you (or me! YAY!) to change your ENTIRE pattern of thinking without feeling like a poser ;) It lets you save face – *YAY* – and it lets you stay true to your values even while changing your mind on big issues. And the best part!!! If you are logical and keep an open heart and mind, reframing can create change or at least cause ripples immediately.

p.s. I MAY have thrown in a few confessions here and there to keep this post spicy. ;) So back to blogging …

WHAT IS REFRAMING?

Wikipedia “…reframing a situation or context, thus sees a situation in another frame. A frame can refer to a belief, what limits our view of the world. If we let this limiting belief go, new conceptions and interpretation possibilities can develop...”
Changingminds.org “..A frame, or ‘frame of reference’ is a complex schema of unquestioned beliefs, values and so on that we use when inferring meaning. If any part of that frame is changed (hence ‘reframing’), then the meaning that is inferred may change.”
NLP Reframing “…Changing the frame of an experience can have a major influence on how you perceive, interpret and react to that experience.”
On a simpler note – reframing can be as simple as understanding that “truth” with a lower case t, CAN have more than one side. And just because you experience or perceive ONE truth – it doesn’t mean there can’t be an equally compelling truth if you look at the situation from another direction.

Btw – Chloe – my dog who is a bumbly bear – hurt her leg and was limping a lot. So I took her into the vet.

She’s now on drugs.

BENEFITS OF REFRAMING:

Allows acceptance
Allows forgiveness
Creates a new reality
Has life-changing potential
And I think Chloe is now a drug addict.

EXAMPLE

The other night she kept looking at me with her happy smile.

Pant, pant, pant, puppy eyes, smile, pant pant pant. I couldn’t figure out what she wanted!! I said, “Show me” and she lead me into the kitchen…. uh oh – the kitchen? This had trouble written ALL over it.

I went to the treat jar – no no – she didn’t want that. SHE – piggy of all piggies!!! – WALKED AWAY FROM THE TREAT JAR!! So I asked if she wanted to go outside – she took two MORE steps back and sat down with stubborn determination. She was NOT going to go outside.

Pant pant pant. More puppy eyes. SMILE!!! WAG WAG!

“Chloe bear – WHAT do you want?”

WAG WAG WAG WAG WAG WAG WAG WAG – she went back to where the treat jar was - and that’s when I noticed. Her pain pills were sitting RIGHT next to the treat jar. *oh boy* My dog wanted drugs. My dog is a drug addict. ***SHOCK OF ALL SHOCKS!!!*** Well – ok – maybe it’s only *mostly shocking* she is a little chubby wubby lazy bear – it doesn’t surprise me TOO much that she likes a lil something something extra to help her stay EXTRA lazy. ;)

OK!!!! BACK TO REFRAMING!!! Though you will find that I tie my confessional of Chloe back into reframing in a bit but for now – If you want a great life changing personal example of how a bloggy friend/reader helped ME reframe – I’d recommend reading the following posts – I went from feeling like an utter failure with every reason (in my mind) to logically believe so – to just days later understanding that there was another side and that I may have been too hard on myself. ALL FROM THE HELP OF ONE COMMENT!!!! Sure I still feel like a failure on many levels – just not the same ones. :)

Post One: My Self Measure Means Failure

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

This quote … depresses me because it screams at me, “YOU ARE A FAILURE!” A complete and pathetic failure with no backbone and no sense of identity. (Read more if you want)

Post Two: I told the Dr. I didn’t know who I was

I remember, at the age of 25, when I went to see a psychiatrist.

“What can I help you with Daisy?”

“I don’t know who I am, what I want from life, or what I like.”

He looked at me with surprise. He and I had met before. …. He had always believed I was very self-assured, confident and independent. How could I not know myself? (Read more about my search for identity AND find suggestions to help you find out more about your OWN self YAY! )

Comment on Post Two because I turned comments off on Post One: Phoebe’s paradigm shifting comment

“This sort of relates more to your last post, but I think maybe you’re failing to recognize that the fact that you didn’t just allow everyone who was trying to make you conform means that you actually WERE “finding yourself” all of…” (read the rest) and Thanks again Phoebe!!!

Post Three: A New Perspective to my Failure (with a side note on the dangers of “comfort zones”)

…Is it possible that I’m not such a failure after all?…although I may not have known my mind completely – I was learning what I didn’t like. :) I did play along with “THEM” and played the part – but I suppose I never really conformed did I?… Maybe I need to have a little more faith in myself. :) I never conformed in my heart. Never. And looking at the circumstances I pushed through – I feel safe to say I never will.

And back to Chloe, the drug addict.

MAYBE – just maybe – she’s NOT a drug addict. MAYBE – just maybe – she likes the cream cheese I wrap her pills in. AAANNNDDDD Maybe – just maybe I might have discovered, after testing, she is equally happy with a tiny dab of cream cheese as she is with a pain pill wrapped in cream cheese.

So in conclusion. :) Reframing – keeping an open mind – looking for another side or being willing to hear another side – continually giving the “benefit of the doubt” and actively searching for ways to confirm this benefit of the doubt you gave - INCLUDING GIVING THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT TO YOURSELF (and Chloe) – this may not seem like much. But I promise you:

Reframing has the power to permenantly change a frown upside down and to help you accept (yourself or others), forgive (yourself or others), move forward, and provide new realities that might unlock a newer, happier you.

Please feel free to email if you have questions or would like more information. Daisy@australiandaisy.com or watch for upcoming installments on areas of life that might benefit from reframing. And as said before – watch for an upcoming post on Humility!

Oh! Oh! AND I’m GOING TO WASHINGTON D.C. for the first time TO CELEBRATE JULY 4, 2011 with my honey!!!!!

Please wish me SAFE TRAVELS!!! YAY!!!

And I wish those of you in the United States a

VERY HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!

I’ll post pictures upon return. :)

My heart’s a stereo – and I’m going to start sharing “deep stuff” ;)

Posted on June 25, 2011 by admin

But there! I said it – I got it out of the way. We can move forward. :) haha – ok I’m not like COMPLETELY changed. My sense of humor is still about the same. :) which let’s be real – that is a HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF!!!!!

YAY!!!!!

You see, I LOVE to laugh and I think I’m funny. So the fact that I STILL think I’m funny?!?!! Wahoo!! :)

Anyway I’m only mentioning this because I’ve done moderately well at being “adjusted” despite my – umm – well – my life. I’ve tried to maintain a happy perspective, I’ve worked at being optimistic and I’ve NEVER taken the “why me?” attitude; though I have most certainly wondered about the purpose of life. But I’ve adjusted; I’ve adapted. I’m still here and most days I’m still laughing. :)

Up until recently I didn’t want to really admit or fully accept that my past IS my past. Ok – I still don’t. I HATE what’s happened. I hate the fact that SO MUCH has happened. There has been so much heart ache, so much loss, so many tears and so much FEAR. I hate WHY things have happened. I hate the parts I played in making some of it happen. And I hate the parts that I couldn’t prevent from happening. But now I’m willing to admit what I’ve gained from it. And that is a WHOLE LOT!!!!

I am *willing* to appreciate this acquired knowledge from those experiences I didn’t want. Yes, “willing.” It’s not like I didn’t recognize what I learned, but I resented it in many, many ways. The resentment is going, if not gone, and I am now grateful for the perspectives, attitudes, insights and wisdom I have taken away from it all. It gives me hope, and takes away some of the despair.

“We who have lived in anguish for so long have discovered a way to live in serenity, one day at a time, and our greatest joy is to share this way of life with others.” – As we understood p. 231.

I don’t think I’ll ever look back at my story without grimacing or frowning; without getting frustrated, being disappointed, and crying. But at least now I can be grateful for the things I am able to understand because of my trials. The difference between then and now is that I’m ready to share what I’ve discovered about hope, communication, accountability, self-esteem, acceptance, faith, humility and courage.

So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to start sharing. I hope it helps someone. :)

My next blog will be on the value trifecta – humility, honesty and courage but IN THE MEANTIME!!!! Let me share with you my new favorite-est-est-est song!!! I’ve mentioned that my BF and I have a soundtrack of US. This song makes it on the list. The lyrics ring true in my heart. I love J, and I WOULD carry him around even if he were an old school 50lb boombox, and I’d hold him on my shoulder wherever I walked, and turn his volume up in front of the cops, and crank it higher every time they told me to stop. hee hee Yes – My heart’s a stereo.

Facades, authenticity, presentation and you – or me

Posted on April 1, 2011 by admin

*Archived from May 2009*

If you have been following this blog and have been reading between the lines it will come as no surprise to you that I suck at life right now. :) Yes I put a smiley face there. Why? Because there’s no point frowning about it is there? Plus it’s a bit amusing to think about the fact that someone could “suck at life” – I realize the inherent EVERYTHING in that statement mmm kay? But I chose to use the statement anyway. Because I do suck at life right now – but my presentation is still up to par.

It occurred to me that the only people who would know I suck at life right now are people who caught the few confessional blogs recently or the few friends I’ve let in on it. Other than that and well – my international student adviser and my teachers at school (who OMGOSH- AGH!!!) – no one would have any clue.

Someone questioned my authenticity because I appear to have everything under control when I FEEL as if nothing is under control. This really bothered me. Does it make me less authentic because I choose not to tell everyone I meet that my sky is falling? Does it make me less authentic if I maintain a certain level of vanity when my inner life is scattered and chaotic? Why do I have to LOOK like a disaster just because my life is one? And why the H.E.DOUBLE do I need to act like a disaster if I have personal troubles? I don’t!!!

Life is what you make it. I can control SOME things. Other things are outside of my control. The things I CAN control – I do. Why does that make me not authentic?

Ok so I maintain appearances. I participate in the normal life activities. I still LAUGH and SMILE and crack jokes and go to parties even though I’ve cried more in this past few months than I have in the past year. THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME FAKE! It just means I’m a fighter and I’m fighting to be happy.

I believe our thoughts follow our actions. And even when my thoughts are less than happy I still try and live a normal, happy, active life. Why is that such a crime?

What do you think? To be authentic do you need to ACT depressed when you FEEL depressed? Is it ok to look good when you’re not feeling well? Does it make you fake to seem happy, in control, and on top of the world when you don’t always feel that way?

I think the next person who questions my authenticity because they ASSUMED my life is perfect and they ASSUMED I’ve had a trial-free past just because I choose to be happy and I LOOK happy – I’m going to tell them to shove it. Just because THEY can’t maintain appearances when their life is going to pieces doesn’t mean that I have to follow suit.

I’m an explorer/negotiator/builder something-or-other – what are you?

Posted on April 1, 2011 by admin

TAKE THE QUIZ YOURSELF

http://www.chemistry.com/whyhimwhyher

Archived from March 2009

Tuesdays are soooo long. I’m out of the house by 8:00am and don’t get home until after 8:00pm. What do I do all day? School. Gee whiz – super fantastic. Anyway – at about hour 7 in my school day I got really really bored (I had a break between classes) and I thought – “A QUIZ will relieve my boredom. Hip hip horray!” But then my conscience got the best of me so I did school research instead of taking mind-numbing quizzes. HOWEVER – awhile back I took the quiz below and have decided to share my results.

I found the link to the quiz on Empossible in El Paso‘s Blog.

This quiz is a trip!

I’m not kidding – it pretty much describes me to a T! So yeah – are you bored? Will you be bored in the near future? Do you have a weird obsession for quizzes? Oh nevermind – just take the quiz anyway! It’s FUN!

PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GET IF YOU TAKE THE QUIZ and for you shy ones – you can always leave an anonymous comment My results are after the section break.

Daisy you are an…

Continue reading →

The iBirds and the iBees, Cyber Chastity Belts

Posted on April 1, 2011 by admin

*Archived from December 2009*

My naive inner cyber child asked my grown-up real life self, “Daisy, where do cyber-babies come from?” And I have to be honest – I was a little stumped. Cyber babies? Wtheck? And why do I have an inner cyber child?

Anyway, it has been my unfortunate experience as of late, to be the target of cyber-pressure. Say WHAT?? Yeah. I know. I was shocked too. WTHECK??

Call me naive but I had no idea how similar cyber-dating was to RL dating. IN FACT – it’s actually worse than real life dating. Why? Because I added the word CYBER to the front of it. And not only does that make it SOUND worse but it also allows for a whole new breed of douchebags. Cyber Douchebags. And guess what? Cyber Douchebags are SUPER douchebags.

So right here and now – I’d just like to throw it out there that I have a Cyber Chastity Belt. And GUESS WHAT?? I don’t lower my standards just because YOU have an iCloak of anonymity which gives you more courage to cyber hit on me. And want to know what else? I kind of think you’re cybersluts! Yep. Cybersluts. And cowards. Maybe I’m wrong but I have a feeling you wouldn’t DARE speak to me that way in real life. And if I could CYBERSLAP you, I would!!!!!

HOWEVER – with that said – I think it’s completely different when two people are dating and use the internet and cyberdating to help keep their long distance relationship strong. That’s normal. What’s NOT normal are all the dudes from UTAH fronting to be religiously devout and “ohsoMoral and wonderful” but are REALLY cyberdirty and gross! Oh SNAP!!! Yeah – I did - I went there. I said it – and I think it’s time more people started taking a stand against cyber douchebags!! Do you really think that morals don’t translate into the digital world?

There will be no iBirds and iBees busy making iSpring happen on THIS computer with any Cybersluts. I have cyberstandards and iMorals!!!! And I’m not going to have a one-night cyber-fling with you just because you think the internet is a guilt-free realm. It shouldn’t be!!!! and I DO think your computer has a virus and I DON’T want it to infect mine.